Crazy Psycho Murder Tree: Think The Hitchhiker's Guide to Superheroes. (How to Succeed in Evil Book 1) by Patrick E. McLean
Author:Patrick E. McLean [McLean, Patrick E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: good words (right order)
Published: 2020-09-02T11:00:00+00:00
At 8:30 Talmadge was shown to the âdefense team room.â A sheriffâs deputy, this one thin and nervous-looking, said he would send the others up as soon as they arrived. Talmadge didnât have the heart to tell him it was going to be just him and his case of evidence.
8:35 a.m. By now they would be wheeling the truck into the parking garage beneath the building and craning the prisoner into the service elevator. As part of the preliminary agreement, a hallway had been widened and several doors removed to allow the Boggusâs transport into the courtroom. In the end, while nobody had cared about photosynthesis, the right to face your accuser turned out to be something the court held especially sacred. Talmadge didnât care how he won the case at this point, he just wanted to beat Scarpelli. He wanted to beat the man so hard that he would never forget his name.
Outside the defense room, he heard a commotion in the hallway. He stuck his head out, and at the bend in the corridor he saw the deputies wrestling with his client, who was draped in a gray canvas tarp.
âItâs not gonna make the turn,â one of them said.
âWe need an axe.â
Oh shit. Talmadge ran down the hallway yelling, âYouâre not axing my client!â
The sheriff, not a deputy, the full sheriff, turned and asked the group, âWhoâs this little guy?â
Little guy?!? Oh fuck them! Talmadge climbed up on the tree, brandishing a piece of paper, and the words just popped out, as if it had been his name for years. âTopper Haggleblat, attorney for the defense! And this is a court order that instructs you to make and I quote, âwhatever modifications necessary to the building to allow the safe entry and egress of Mr. Boggus, defendant, etc. etc.ââ
âEgress? Innât that some kind of bird?â
âExit, it means exit, Officer Krupke, as in âWhen I have vindicated my client in a court of law, he will egress this building and go free.â You understand?â
Confused, the sheriff muttered, âMy nameâs not Krupke.â
âIt is today. Now go fetch a sledgehammer, Krupke, weâre due in court and this corner has gotta go.â
Krupke looked to his deputy sergeant, who was reading the court order. The sergeant shrugged and said, âHeâs right.â
âYou good under there?â Topper asked his client.
Weakly, the Boggus answered, âThe vital sap run slow, yet still it cries out for vengeance.â
Topper patted the tarp and said, âHang on, old stump, weâll get you unwrapped soon.â
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne(17582)
Cat's cradle by Kurt Vonnegut(13953)
The Break by Marian Keyes(8642)
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan(8409)
A Man Called Ove: A Novel by Fredrik Backman(7703)
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes(5825)
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion(5234)
A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke(4689)
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman(4677)
Beartown by Fredrik Backman(4488)
Audition by Ryu Murakami(4140)
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren(4096)
China Rich Girlfriend by Kwan Kevin(3931)
Beach Read by Emily Henry(3903)
Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan(3800)
Ayesha At Last by Uzma Jalaluddin(3701)
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore(3042)
Hardcore Twenty-Four by Janet Evanovich(2897)
Surprise Me by Kinsella Sophie(2782)